I am thankful I'm not you. If I were you, I would not be me, and I like me--perhaps even more than I like you.
I'm thankful I'm not fat. I think it's natural, but there's no way to know for sure. I suppose I could I follow you around and eat whatever you do and see what happens. But even if you're thin, that amount of food couldn't possibly be good for a creature less than 5 feet tall.
I'm grateful my son can get married without crossing our northern border. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I won't explain it. If you do, you'll get why I can't bring this up with the religious half of the family.
I'm thankful I am not a Black Friday shopper. Shopping Black Friday is neither pleasurable nor smart. I can find much better deals online the rest of the year. Why make myself look and feel like an idiot for nothing? If I need a big screen that badly, I really need to get a life.
I'm thankful weed is legal. It shouldn't be illegal to grow any plant which nature created. If it were discovered ferns can make you high, should you start re-landscaping? This unnecessary war on weed has not served our country (or any other) well. Also, I really, really enjoy vaping it in my Pax.
Finally, I am thankful for the Internet. The world is more educated than ever before and it's a great place to blog my thoughts when I cannot otherwise speak.